The other day my roommates and I were
just sitting enjoying some classic girl talk. Our girl talk usually consisted
of boys, school and/or work, and the occasional news. It always kind of fun and
interesting to ask others when they had their last kiss and who it was from.
Some would say it was recent and others would say it was "So LONG
ago!" Those that gave the latter response (at least of my friends) would
say how they needed "some lovin'". We would laugh but for those of us
that it had been a while for would end up feeling the same way. We are
respectable and educated women who like affection. But this time during girl
talk I wanted to ask something different.
About a
month prior to my girl talk I was enjoying a lunch with my dear friend Jackie.
She asked me when was the last I was kissed and I responded with that it had
been several months. I remember distinctly feeling that it was a bad thing that
it had been so long and that I craved that affection. She being very observant
asked me just that, if I felt that as if it was a bad thing that it had been so
long. She then asked me when was the last time I had an intimate conversation
with someone that I was interested in but had no ambition of gaining anything but
a good conversation. That one took more effort to answer. I knew I was guarded
because of the seriousness of the heartache that I had experienced but I didn’t
realize that I was putting such unnecessary importance on the frequency of how
much I was kissed. I drove home after talking to my friend thinking whom it was
that I had that type of conversation with. It was roughly about a year and half
ago with a guy that I was starting to really like. We had made an emotional
connection, but it just didn’t work out.
So during
that day of girl talk that I asked my friends “When was the last time you
kissed someone?” I got exactly what I expected and we all laughed. I then asked
“When was the last time you had an intimate conversation with someone you were
sincerely interested with no ambition of gaining any physically reward?”. The
room went silent. These girls were giving serious thought to my question. With
a 2 to 3 minute pause one of my friends responded “I don’t know”.
Affection
is a natural human crave and there is nothing wrong with it. It is really fun
to make-out with someone; I personally enjoy it. What I came to realize though
was that I was starting to miss that emotional connection and that I
subconsciously wanted it more and more.
It’s been about a month in the making that I have decided to pursue
something more. I am not looking to settle down or for a serious relationship
but I think I am more open now to possibilities than I have been in a very long
time.
I could
try to give a moral to my story but honestly I don’t have one. Some need that
physical connection and truly there is nothing wrong with that, but be safe
with your heart. Others need the emotional connection and that’s just fine.
I
am just a 20-something trying to figure life out.
