Dating Friends

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A couple of years ago I had a short-lived "thing" with a really cute guy. We weren’t really friends when we had our “thing” so a concern about ruining a friendship wasn’t there. But as they do, feelings became involved. I, at the time, was not interested in anything else but something fun. Hindsight I would have done things much differently because I think I may have hurt his feelings and he really was such a great guy. Ultimately it ended and the awkwardness set in. Here lies the problem; we had a lot of mutual friends and because I was careless it was difficult to have any sort of friendship evolve with him. From that point on I made a promise that I would never date my friends. For those who know my group of friends, you also know that I know REALLY attractive guys (not to brag). To say that I haven’t been attracted to them at one point or another would be a huge lie but out of respect for my own comfort zone I choose not to act on it (besides the girls I hang out with are stunning too). I do have a handful of guy friends of whom I have a great respect for. They are men and not boys, which every woman can appreciate. They are thoughtful, loving, respectful, and much more. And then my mind goes but… I just don’t know. I never thought I would write about this topic but some conversations I have had recently made me question my own logic.

My birthday was a couple of days ago and the highlight of the earlier part of that day was getting to have lunch with a long time friend. During our lunch he asked me what my thoughts were on dating friends. I told him about my previous mistake and how I had made a promise to myself. As we continued to talk about the topic he helped me notice flaws in my logic. A prime example of a success story is the love between my roommate and her now boyfriend. They have known each other for several years and have always been best friends. It was after a random NCMO (non-committal make out) that she realized that she did in fact have feelings for him. As it turned out he had been in love with her for quite sometime and had been fighting it to save their friendship. I remember her telling me that she knew him like a friend but the lovey dovey side was all new to her and  she was excited to see how things were going to turn out.  They have been inseparable since and there will probably be a wedding in August sometime.

After a surprise birthday party from my friends (which I loved!) I sat and talked about this topic with two of my best friends, Sarah and Emily. Emily came right out with it; she thought that my rule was dumb. She figured that because the groundwork was already laid that I would already be past the “hard part” of getting to know each other. She ended it with if you don’t date your friends who else are you going to date? I knew she had good points, especially the last one. I live in Utah and I am Mormon and I am still running out of options. Let me emphasize this though I am by no means in a hurry to jump into anything but I think I need to try and be open to new possibilities. Hence forth; let it be added to my list of New Year’s resolutions, I will be open to new possibilities. Besides if it doesn’t work out I can always go back to online dating.

I am 20-something just trying to figure it out.